compliance with an order, request, or law or submission to another’s authority.
the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.
I know, I know… dual definitions today. But honestly, it really seems like some of my fellow subs need the reminder.
I’ve mentioned in previous posts (For the Love of the Master) that I am in a few BDSM themed groups on facebook, and I read a lot of various opinions, questions, suggestions, biases, arguments, debates, laments, and bragging from Doms and subs alike. I’ve seen people discussing every conceivable kink, life choice, type of relationship, and dynamic I could ever imagine, and some I hadn’t even dreamed were possible. I’ve learned a lot, I hopefully have helped some with advice, and I’ve had some eye rolling moments.
Lately I’ve noticed a new trend. Or maybe it’s not new but it’s just become more noticeable. But it seems more and more, subs are whining about being punished. They admit they did something wrong, but then want to fuss about the punishment being doled out by their Dominant and say he’s being mean, too harsh, it’s (insert whiny toddler tone here) nooot faaaaaair.
Suck it up, princess.
You screwed up. You were disobedient, or you forgot something, or you broke a rule, or you crossed a line. It happens to us all, we’re human, it’s part of that condition. We’re all going to cross lines, forget things, etc etc. So, you failed. Stop making excuses and just pull up those big girl panties and face it like an adult.
You’re submissive. You chose to submit to this person and give them the power to make decisions for you, make rules, and to mete out appropriate punishments. You, in theory, have a personality that craves the dominance and control of the one to whom you have submitted. You, presumably, agreed to obey them and do as you’re told, to follow their lead and their rules.
Or, was that just all talk?
Was it just lip service, something you said to get the kinky fuckery out of them, while still trying to control where the relationship goes? Are you topping from the bottom, or do you really mean it when you say “I am yours to control?”.
If you’re just all talk and no follow through, just find yourself someone to do bedroom BDSM with, and stop pretending. There’s nothing wrong with simply being a bedroom bottom. But if you’re not prepared to follow through with fully submitting to your Dominant, then you’ve got no business taking it any further than bedroom kinkery.
Assuming that your Dominant isn’t crossing health and safety lines, or going up against a hard limit, he’s got the right, and responsibility, to punish you when you screw up. His job (in part) is to direct you, to correct you, and to help you learn to be better. He sets rules for a reason, and your job is to follow those rules, always. When you fail (and you will) yes, a punishment is warranted, to teach a lesson and to clear the air and help move things forward.
What boggles my mind, what just has me sitting here all jawdrop and eyegoggled, is that these subs are whining about a punishment rather than focusing on the fact that they failed their Dominant.
You failed. You broke a rule, crossed a line, whatever. Sit and think about that for a long moment and then start figuring out the best way to apologize and make up for it. Take your punishment as something you most definitely earned, and do whatever it takes to make up for what was done.
And when it’s over, let it go, take the lesson and move forward. No whining. No playing victim. Accept it, take it, and move on.
I hope to never receive punishment from my Master. But if I do, I know I will have earned it, and his disappointment in me will be worse than any punishment he could give me.
And as always…
I am His.