a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect
Alright ladies, knock that shit off. Seriously. Stop expecting assholes to be anything but what they are: Selfish, self-centered, myopic, misogynistic assfaces who deserve absolutely nothing but our contempt and disregard.
Why do we do it? Why do we let these assholes impact our lives, carve on our hearts? Why do we even speak to them, let alone care for them? Oh we have our ‘reasons’…..
Reason 1 – He’s just misunderstood. He had a hard life, or he’s had bad things happen, or mommy never hugged him enough, whatever. He’s not really an asshole, he just needs that special someone to understand him, a woman strong enough to reach the sweet wonderful man behind that armor.
Why that’s bullshit -> No, he’s not misunderstood, and no amount of hard knocks excuse him being a jerk to someone who is being nice to him. There’s no ‘nice guy’ hiding in those walls. He’s really just a mean, snide twat with no redeeming value. Stop lying to yourself.
Reason 2 – I can change him. All he needs is my love, and he’ll be better. I can fix him, make his life better, show him it’s safe to love and be loved, make him a good man.
Why that’s bullshit -> No matter what some lame ass Lady Gaga song says, you can’t cure someone with your love. You won’t fix him. You won’t make him suddenly a loving man. Instead, he’ll break you while you try.
Reason 3 – I need to prove to him I’m as bad ass as he is. I’ll trade insults, barbs, snarky competitions to determine who’s the tougher one in this relationship. He won’t hurt me because I’m tough too!
Why that’s bullshit -> Ok, potentially this isn’t bullshit, if you’re a raging bitch. But if you are, please close this blog and walk away, because I’m really only interested in reaching out to the women with a heart, mmkay? For the rest of us, this is bullshit because the fact is, you can’t ever out-asshole him. You’re not proving anything, or being “cool” or trendy or hip or whatever. There are only two possible outcomes here. One, you become a raging bitch, which means you’re now as much of a problem as he is. Or two, you lose, and he breaks you. He’s never going to be impressed by you… because he.. doesn’t… care. Nothing you say matters to him. You will NOT win.
Reason 4 – It’s Sexy. That smoldering bad boy image. The snarky intelligent humor. So sexy!
Why that’s bullshit -> No. CONFIDENCE is sexy. Intelligence is sexy. Humor is sexy. Being a complete jerk to everyone while people are being nice to you, is NOT SEXY. It’s rude, it’s mean, it has no redeeming value at all. And when it’s aimed at you, it will undermine your self esteem until you’re a broken shell of who you were before.
Why am I on this particular rant today? Because I’m tired of watching amazing women get broken by assholes who shouldn’t have even been given the time of day in the first place. I’m sick to death of watching these twatwaffles breeze through life shitting on people left and right, while women fall at their feet and they turn around and backhand them for the effort. I’ve seen women so broken that they actually ended their lives (Sad Sad News), and I’ve watched friends I love wallow in misery inflicted by these assholes.
I wish I could somehow ban these people from society, but I can’t.
So here’s what I can do. I can remind you, all you lovely amazing ladies, of some very important facts:
1 – YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Yes you. Oh I’m pointing right at you. You know who you are. You’re beautiful, and amazing, and intelligent, and have a heart that loves so very deeply. You are so loved and you probably don’t even realize how much you mean to the people around you. You brighten people’s lives, and you bring something to the world that only you can… YOU. That unique quality, that mix of personality, heart, mind that is completely irreplaceable.
2 – He’s NOT worthy of you. Nope, he’s not. He’s honestly just an assface, who doesn’t deserve you at all. You’re better than him, you’re far superior in every way, and he should be thanking all the stars in the universe that you even bother to speak to him. He’s so far beneath you that he shouldn’t even be visible. You deserve so much more!
3 – There is better out there. Men are awesome. Seriously, they’re pretty fabulous, even if we don’t really understand them all the time. The assholes are not indicative of their gender, at all. They’re just more visible, because they’re all LOOKATME all the time. But trust me, there are amazing men out there who will be what you truly need. I promise.
Look, ladies… there’s one failsafe way to find out if this guy is healthy for you or not. To determine if he’s maybe just a little arrogant but still a good guy, or genuinely just an asshole that will break you. It’s a simple test. You don’t even need a pencil and paper or anything. Ready? Ok. Ask yourself this:
Are you better, happier, healthier, more upbeat and positive under his influence? Does being around him make your heart lighter?
Are you upset, miserable, unhappy, desperately trying to win his approval, in a dark place, unable to focus, unable to enjoy things you always did before?
If you can honestly say yes to the first question, you’re probably ok. But if you say yes to any of the second question, then wake up and have a long talk with yourself, because he will destroy you if you don’t cut the poison from your life right now.
I don’t know how else to emphasize this… HE is an asshole, he cannot be redeemed or cured, and YOU are worthy of more than he can possibly give you.
Please don’t let some douchecanoe damage you. He’s not worth it.